2 Simple Steps to Letting Go OR How To Save The Next Taco Night From A Stupid Argument

I can start obsessing about things fairly easily. Like my girlfriend won't return a message or text and it starts this feedback loop in my head. I wonder what she's doing that she didn't respond. I start to feel small and unimportant, my ego starts to get hurt, I start to get pissed. In reality all I'm doing at that point is drinking past or future poisons. Almost anything that is messing with your present can be traced to the illusions that are the past and future playing tricks on you.

So this is what I'm working on now: Eliminate any possible past or futures that are negatively effecting my present, my NOW.

I learned a trick which works really great for this. When I find myself getting upset because of projections or memories or regrets, I simply ask myself 2 questions:

1. What are you feeling NOW?

The first question has to do with the moment. What am I feeling right this second? What I want to be feeling is happiness or whatever my version of 'happy' is. So if I'm not feeling happy or content or positive, I determine how I'm feeling and then move on to the 2nd question.

2. Is there anything missing?

Why am I feeling like I'm feeling and how is it messing with my NOW? What is missing that I am not happy or content? Then I go through a list of things.

For instance: I inadvertently start a fight with my special lady on Taco Night about attention that I feel I've been missing (past) and attention I feel like I should receive (future).

These regrets or negative projections are simply past and future poisons. I can't go back in "time" and add the attention I was missing and by focusing on negative things yet to come or uncertainties I am simply making myself miserable thus causing a fight and totally messing up my present, my NOW.

Ahhh my NOW… what really IS my NOW?

My NOW, Taco Night, should've been a blast! (I mean how can you mess up Taco Night?!? There was even Patron… I'm big stupid.) In fact, after stripping away the illusions and tricks of the past and future, most situations are not inherently bad, they're actually pretty good. Even during the mundane, I become more attuned to my present circumstance which creates a kind of wonder that brings pleasure and happiness. I am walking and begin enjoying the weather (no matter what weather it is). I am driving and begin to enjoy the music I'm playing in the car or the response of the vehicle to the slightest movements of the controls.

Without the past and future gremlins mucking things about, life begins to really open up. But just like anything, it takes practice. I'll still have my fair share of ruined NOWs while this new line of "thinking" becomes more automatic.

At least the next Taco Night will be safe :)

-The New Loud

Letting Go, Bike Riding

I rode my bike today for the first time in like 2 years. I didn't ride much last year, too damn hot and when it wasn't it seemed too cold - lol.

Anyway I rode down to the lake today and back. While I ride my bike, sometimes all over town, I don't consider myself a 'bike-rider' - I don't have a bike suit or a bike with gears (60's Schwinn with coaster brakes) or even a helmet (probably should get one of those).

I feel like a bike ride through traffic is an excellent way to practice 'letting go'. People drive poorly, they don't pay attention a lot - they're on their phone or distracted by their destination. They're definitely not paying attention to me on my bike. They cut me off or they ride stupid close. I've even had someone yell that I should be on the sidewalk - which is precisely where bikes should NOT be.

Anyway, stuff happens, stuff I can't control... I get pissed... I want to catch up to them and spit on their car or kick it or yell some shit at them, but their car is much faster than my bike, especially MY bike. I think "Wait until they get stopped at that light, Ima catch up and then SHIT IS GOING DOWN!!!!"

But that never happens. Their light is always on a repetition ahead of mine or they turn. So there's nothing to do except let it go. "Whatever!" Sometimes I try and put myself in their shoes, maybe they're having an emergency, maybe someone is hurt or their wife is pregnant and about to have a baby, maybe they just had a bad day and they just want to be home. I can't say.

I.
am not.
them.

I guess feel like I'm progressing because I'm getting less and less worked up by these situations. Most times the revenge scenario isn't even fully developed before I just drop it from my mind. Which feels a lot better than trying to catch something I'm never going to catch to create a situation that probably shouldn't be created.

-The New Loud